Following my latest fable about a runaway goat I later named "the redeemer", I have been taking a deep look at my life, asking questions like what am I doing, and why? How much of my choices are based on conditioning from society or the past, and what part are my true motives? What do I really want? Because, unless I am more clear with my intentions and purpose I'll always feel like I'm at the mercy of whatever comes my way.
While I am still working through it, I thought I would pop back in to share some of that process. A lot of it has been writing my thoughts and reading, but I've also taken the opportunity to explore different creative avenues.
The painting above I did last Sunday during an Art Therapy workshop at Lula Mae in Pasadena. We were told to identify something we're going through and to paint not that thing, but what we want to happen instead. For me it was moving forward with clarity and courage. Riding a lion while going from nighttime to daytime and from a dry to an abundant land. For others, it was a big heart, a book for an unwritten life, a beautiful sunrise, a wall with intentions as bricks, or simply becoming alive! Images are quite powerful. Leaving the shop with my painting under my arm, I already felt a little more courageous and alive.
Another interesting thing I tried a couple weeks ago was a workshop at my local art store learning to paint realistically. Quite a new experience for me. I purposely made the lemons more orange, cause when life gives you lemons, you can make them meyer lemons, in other words better lemons (meyer in french sounds like "meilleur" or better)!
Here are some sketches from one weekly live drawing sessions at Center Stage Gallery. I had not done this kind of thing in years! A little intimidating drawing from a live subject but it's a good challenge, and the models are always costumed, which is so much fun. I really like the boxer costume, and attitude of this model.
Lastly, another thing I've been exploring is what I found out is called "automatic drawings", meaning I put the pen down on a piece of paper and just draw without thinking, as if the pen has a life of its own. What I have to tell myself to push through the fear and hesitation is "no one is going to see this" (and now you do). What comes out is a bit bizarre, but maybe that's a good thing?!
To me all this ties in one common thread: commit to whatever I put on paper or canvas and learn to live without the safety of the eraser or the back button. Well the results were not so bad.. and I survived.